Beep

I hate it. Everything about it sucks. Yeah it hurts, but is it worth this? It makes me want to throw up. It makes me want to cry. I can't decide which I'll do first. I just want to go home. I hate it so much. I hate the plastic lavendar curtain. It's stupid, why is it lavendar? I suppose light purple is supposed to be soothing, and maybe under different circmstances, it would be. But it's not. Take it down. And it's so bright, the flourescent lights are annoying. Turn them off. I hate this. I hate how clean everything is. I didn't even know clean had a smell till I came here. Which reminds me, why did I come here again? It's not worth this. At all. And more than anything, I hate the IV. The thin skin on the top of my hand hates it more. It makes me cold. My whole arm is freezing. I put the blanket over it but it's just as cold. It's supposed to make me feel better but it only makes everything worse. I start to cry then feel stupid. The guy next to me just had a heart attack and I'm crying over an IV. Really? I'm worthless. I've layed here and watched the clock go from ten thirty, to midnight, to one thirty to two thirty. I want to go home, go to sleep. She made me take out my belly button ring. I can't find it, doubt I'd be able to get my fingers to twist it back in anyway. Oh well. Belly button rings are stupid when your stomach looks like mine. I start to fall asleep waiting for her to come back. All their voices, snoring, laughter, cries, they all sound like my friends. I feel like I'm with them, I just was. So how did I end up here? I can hear them talking about me. About how I can't pee. About how I need more fluid. Except it's not really me. They keep calling me 4. I've never really liked that number. I fall back asleep. Soon enough I'll get to go home, right?