picking up the pieces

Have you ever been afraid of the night? Not the dark, but the night. Have you ever looked outside, at the sun fading and the air growing crisp, and felt sick? Your hands feel clammy, your stomach knotted and twisted into a maze and an awful sinking feeling taking over. And then a few moments later, it's gone, forgotten. And when you ask yourself why it even happened, your mind draws a blank. You can't think of one reason why you wouldn't want it to be night. After all, night has always been your favorite, right? Night is when all the best things happen, and the worst. Your best memories and your worst regrets all happened with the sun gone and the moon glowing. I suppose in a way, the sun and moon are like your conscience. During the day, the sun shines bright, reminding you of who you should be and at night, the moon is merely glowing. A brief, almost dull reminder of what you are to become. And at the same time, leaving this huge darkness for you to figure it out yourself or to hide in the shadows. You can forget who you are, you can become uninhibited with the lights off. You can hide from the moon and take shelter in the darkness, escaping into the darker side of yourself. Or you can seek out the moon and follow the stars, finding your inner colors without it being told to you by the truthful brightness of the sun. It's not real life in a way. It's like you're given this blank coloring page. And you can fill it with whatever colors you like, you can even choose whether or not to stay in the lines because no one can see it. The darkness hides your flaws and even your beauty. So the question is, how do you color yourself in when you know no one will be there to see it?