don't tell me if i'm dying

We're too accepting. We really are. We take everything we believe in for granted. We believe that there's snow outside, that it's winter. And we believe that the two people that created us are our family. We even believe that the things around us are really there. We believe in what we see and hear and touch. We do it and we don't even notice or think about it. We take comfort in the routine of it. We take comfort in the fact that if we leave a room and come back, everything will still be there. We believe in what we're taught to believe in. But what if we shouldn't? What if the things we believe in aren't really there? What if we're taught to believe in something that isn't anything?

As children, we believe in Santa and the Easter bunny. We believe in it because that is what we've been taught to believe in. Our parents, whom we trust our whole minds with, tell us that it's true. They go along with the charade because that's what they have been taught to do. It's what they have been told to do. They lie to us. They flat our lie to us. Because that's what has been done to them. Later on in life, we find out the truth, either from them or from our friends accidentally. Most of us are devastated, some already suspected. But why are we so crushed? Is it because we feel betrayed by the people we trust the most? Or is it because something we trusted and believed in so strongly is now gone? Either way, it's a betrayal. But what if there are other things we haven't yet been told? What if there are other things we trust and believe in, that really aren't there? What if no one has been told the truth because they're too scared and we're too gullible.

It's almost like if one day someone decided that Santa really was real. If they set out cookies every year, got excited, even put the presents under the tree themselves because they were too scared to let go. They trusted in it, believed in it, even did the work to keep it up. Because they were scared of what might happen if it wasn't there. Maybe we're all scared. Maybe we're all too accepting, too trusting. We believe in certain things because we're scared of what might happen without it. What would happen if desk we're sitting at, and the computer in front of us, wasn't really there? Or the colors of them, weren't really colors at all? What if we couldn't trust anything, especially not ourselves? What would we be left with? I guess just our feelings. And our feelings are the only thing we don't trust enough. Because we can't really see them, we can't touch them. But they will always be there, even if all our other surroundings were gone.