O.

It's all over. Done. Gone. Can't get it back. I was in such a hurry. I wanted so much to have that, to become that person. I wanted to prove to you, and I guess to myself, that I could have that. So I pushed and pushed and pushed it. And it worked. I got exactly what I wanted. But did I really want it? It's crazy how fast it can be over. Over the course of maybe a minute, everything I thought I was, disappeared. I changed. But I didn't, not really. I kept waiting for it. I kept waiting for my whole world to shift. But it didn't. And I realized that my whole life isn't going to alter just because of this one thing, this one decision. I always used to be intrigued by it. As if it put you on a different level, changed you, altered you. And I was scared of changing. But nothing changed. And I know that if I told you that, you'd have a different opinion. But you don't know, you can't tell. If I never tell you, you'll never know. No one will. And that's exactly how it should be.