...

Maybe I'm overreacting, just looking for a way out. Maybe I'm imagining all of this, over analyzing everything until it becomes what I think it should be. Maybe the pangs of jealousy I get when anyone else even comes near him are just a way of proving that you don't mean anything. And maybe the urges I have to be with him and the theories I come up with about us are just me trying to find a way out. Because whenever I get in something, I'm always looking for a way out. A reason why it won't work. And with you I ignored that, I pushed for it. And I got it. But now that I have you, do I really have you? I feel like I'm still trying. It's like this endless fight where I keep trying and you stay apathetic. And the more I try, the more I end up pulling away and I feel like I don't even know you anymore. I don't even think I ever did. I don't understand how you can feel perfectly fine and think nothing when I'm thinking everything. I just feel like I gave you this huge thing and you just took it for granted. And it should have made me feel closer to you but instead I feel so much farther away. And I just want to get away from it, from you. To pretend I never met you. Because I can't handle all of this and I can't take it back. But could I really just walk away?