Shh.

One of the absolute worst things in the entire world that you could ever see, I've been lucky enough to see three times. Once when I was eleven, and twice in the last four months. It's something so extremely horrible, you can never quite recover. It's your parents...doing it. Like the it it thing. The thing that's almost okay for you to do, but not for your parents. It's the reason we're all here, but God, it's nasty. It makes you want to curl up into a ball and die. If you've never seen it, consider yourself truly, truly blessed. And if you have.....you have my sympathy, but not really because you probably haven't had to see it three fricken times, which I still can't believe that I've had to.
The first time wasn't so bad, well as not-so-bad as seeing your parents having sex can be. But I was only eleven and I guess I had never even considered it. I always thought that parents stopped doing that after they had babies and I must be wrong about what I saw. Anyway, I told my sister and we both agreed to not ever speak to them again. After a while we kind of forgot about it but I can still picture it perfectly and uh...yuck. Then, like four months ago, it happened again. Like wow, lock the door please. Or just don't do that at all cause it's extremely disgusting. But yep, I walked in to tell them I was home because they always make me check in when I get home and surprise surprise...guess who's on top of who. And then again. It was my dog's birthday and I had an alarm set for midnight to get up and wish him happy birthday (yes, I realize how dumb this sounds). But anyway, I walk in and ah, parents. naked.yuckyuckcyuckcyuckyuck. I could seriously kill myself, it's that gross. That is the absolute worst thing I have ever had to endure in my fifteen years and probably will remain number one for the rest of my life, except for maybe natural childbirth (which I never plan to do and anyway I'll get something out of that I guess and this, well this is just sick) or if I walk in on them when they're like eighty or something. That would just be super cool.
In any case, what I have learned from all of this (besides that my parents still do it) is that walking into your parents bedroom, is never okay. No matter what. Even if it's the middle of a Sunday and you can hear them talking about taxes. And if you absolutely have to, stomp your feet on the way to the door, whistle or hum or sing as loudly as possible, then knock, really really loudly numerous times to make sure they've heard you, wait 2-7 minutes, depending on how long it takes your parents to get decent, before opening the door, then proceed with caution. Because really, it's something you could definitely go your entire life without ever seeing.