Everything happens for a reason, right? Every single little detail of your life happened for a reason. It's all part of God's plan for you, right? Even when you make a mistake, even a catastrophic one, it was supposed to happen, right? I sometimes think that that is absolutely true, then other times I think it's just something people console themselves with when life sucks. Most of the stupid things I've done have worked out alright, and led me to realize certain things or led me to something else better. But not all of them. Some are abstract paintings I haven't yet been able to find beautiful. And I just added one to the list. Maybe it's too soon to see where it will lead, but I doubt anywhere good. I messed up, made this huge mistake and I don't know what to do. At the time, it didn't seem so big, and afterwards, I ignored it. And then it just blew up in my face. I don't know what to do. I really don't. I explained things but it won't make it right, and I'm not even sure I want it to be. There it was, my way out, and I didn't take it. I made up some excuse and talked my way out of it. Why did I do that? I couldn't tell you. I don't know why I do half the things I do anymore. I just don't feel like I'm in my body. I feel like I can do whatever and it won't matter because I'm dreaming. And maybe, I am. Isn't that weird? Like, I could be dreaming right now and not even know it. I could be lost inside my mind and not even realize it. I could wake up sometime and none of this would've happened. Wouldn't that be amazing? If I could take it all back. But would I remember that it was a dream? What if I went on with my life thinking that all the things I had just experienced in my dreams were real memories? Sometimes I think I do that. Then other times I can't remember. There are certain things I remember from when I was little that seem really weird now. I can remember a few specific times that I asked my parents something and they gave me a totally false response. I don't know, I'm rambling. So I'm just gonna be done, and go to be.d. GOod night.
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Yea i know what you mean same thng happened to me...but I guess we just have to learn from it and we sometimes make mistakes but they can always be fixed. Oh I know same here I also remember little things from the past that I find to be weird that I remember that certain detail or memory.
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