part of this terrible mess that you're making

Do you remember when you used to build "forts" with pillows and blankets and furniture? Remember taking forever to build them and playing in them for hours? I remember taking forever to make them look just right and then being disappointed. I'd sit back and look at it and think it looked really cool, but then I'd get in it and it didn't seem so cool anymore. It was small and cramped and dark, nothing like I'd imagined. That happens with a lot of things, they look better than they actually are. Or they seem better than they actually are. I was in the doctors office today, way up high on the top level. I'm there once a month if not more, and every time I come, I'm amazed by the view. They have these huge windows that stretch from the ceiling right down to the floor. And you look out the windows, and there's Albert Lea. Almost the whole town. You can see the lake and the cemetary and the beach and downtown and uptown and trees. Tons and tons of trees. I never realized how many trees there are here. Looking out at it, our town reminds me of a cliche small town, with a pretty lake and cute little houses and buildings. From inside the glass, our town looks cute and perfect. I saw kids playing in the snow, a couple walking hand in hand around the lake and cars waiting at a stoplight. It seemed so cool, so cute. The streets, the snow, the people. But then I thought about what it's like to actually be part of it. To be walking on those streets, looking at the snow, interacting with the people. And it really isn't that cool. It looks so much better than it is. It made me think. I wonder if everything that looks good, isn't really that good. I mean, sometimes it's alright, but it's never as good as it looked. I wonder if all the pretty things aren't really pretty at all. And what exactly is pretty? What really consitutes beautiful? When it's people, it's usually superficial things like nice hair or a symmetrical face or big boobs or big muscles. But beautiful things aren't as easy to define. What makes a flower attractive? Is it the colors? The shape? The smell? Or is it a combination of all of that? Or is it simply the innocence of it? The fact that it grew, that it actually came to be. No one made it, no one messed with it, it just is. But then, wouldn't grass be beautiful? And what about trees? Snow? I guess it's all a matter of opinion. But if beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder, why are we constantly disappointed by what we have, what we think is beautiful?